I'm a Politician

©1996 Dan Scanlan

I'm a politician, yes I am,
Kissin' the babies and shakin' the hands.
I'm a politican, and I'm glad I am,
'Cause I get to LIVE like a congress man.

Standin' at the checkout in the grocery store,
Big ol' line goin' out the door.
I been waitin' since a quarter to four
Just reading the National Enquiror.
Then a pretty lady gets in line behind me
All she's gonna' buy is a little packet of cheese
So I step aside and say, "Oh, excu-u-u-use me.
"But you can take my place, pleeez."

Oh, I'm a politician, yes I am,
Kissin' the babies and shakin' the hands.
I'm a politican, and I'm glad I am,
'Cause I get to EAT like a congress man.

Sittin' all round the dinner table
Family's gonna' eat everything it's able:
Squash and peas and chicken friend steak
Why there ain't nothin' that domestic can't make.
Then she says "I cannot lie
I have burned your apple pie."
I say "Rosita, it's not as bad as it may seem
Just give me two more helpings of that premium Irish cream."

'Cause I'm a politician, yes I am,
Kissin' the babies and shakin' the hands.
I'm a politican, and I'm glad I am,
'Cause I get to LOVE like a congress man.

Playing between the sheets with a pretty young aide,
Showin' her how Family Value Legislation is made,
In a quiet and discreet little bungalow
A place whose name I don't even know,
Thanks to a lobbyist who knows my kinks
And all I gotta' do is vote like he thinks.

And I will,

'Cause I'm a politician, yes I am,
Kissin' the babies and shakin' the hands.
I'm a politican, and I'm glad I am,
'Cause I get to eat live like a congress man.

Pluck back to Cool Hand Uke's Lava Tube

Pluck back to Cool Hand Uke's Nader Resource Page

Pluck back to Polemic on Nader and the Internet

Pluck back to Catalog of Cool Hand Uke Songs